When was the last time you were genuinely confident about yourself? Be honest now ... Many people struggle with self-confidence on a daily basis. Some people have more than others, and some need it more than others. There are various levels of self-confidence, and in the end, everyone needs a little bit of it in their lives.

What does self-confidence do for us? For starters, it empowers us. When we are self-confident, we believe in ourselves. We respect and appreciate the unique qualities that make us who we are. And when we value ourselves, we realize we have a lot more to offer the world. When we share our gifts, we feel more fulfilled and better about ourselves, which in turn feeds our self-confidence. So you see, exercising self-confidence is a positive cycle - it only gets better from here!

But too often, we are afraid to be more self-confident because we think ourselves unworthy or incapable of it. Nothing should be further from the truth – we all deserve to be self-confident. In fact, we all have the right to it. Why shouldn’t you be able to appreciate who you are?

At the same time, being self-confident is not the same as being over-confident. Many people confuse the meaning of self-confidence with being vain or too proud, which is another common false. Being self-confident does not include treating others as if you are better than them; it does not give you the ability to step on others, or promote yourself at the expense of others. In fact, this behavior is the very opposite of self-confidence. When someone is constantly bragging about themselves, they’re most likely doing it because they lack such qualities. They are trying to talk others - as well as themselves - into believing they have it.

So there’s a fine line between having self-confidence and having too much of it. The key is to understand that not having enough self-confidence and having too much of it are one and the same – both mean you just don’t have it, even if you think you do.

How do you gain self-confidence? It takes time, just like all worthwhile things in life. First, you have to believe in yourself. Recognize who you are and appreciate the unique gifts you have; build your good traits but also understand what you can improve. Share what you can with those around you. And never feel guilty about wanting self-confidence - remember, everyone deserves it!

In order for self-confidence to have any impact on your life, you need to know what you really want. Here’s a little exercise to point you in the right direction: take a minute for yourself and think about what you would really like to have in your life. This could be anything from having more time to spend with family and friends, or improving a skill, or just having nicer hair. Next, list two ways you could achieve each of those goals if you already had self-confidence. (Read Goal Setting Series it will help)

Now take a step back and examine your list. Does it seem like you can accomplish some of those goals right now if you tried? Or do you feel more inspired to gain more self-confidence to achieve those goals? Either way, you’re off to a start. Recognizing what you want is the first step to self-confidence. Using the special qualities you already have as an individual to build your dreams is the next step. And once you realize you’ve achieved your dreams using what was inside of you all along, you will have found your self-confidence. Hold on to it, and just keep going!

Next week, we’ll discuss obstacles that can hold us back from self-confidence and how to overcome them.